I received an interesting email yesterday…
[Yes, I get new twitter follower notifications. Yes, it's completely vain -- but I also have this blog which is vain in both name and nature so, I mean, really, are you surprised?]
But how did they know? And what did I do on Saturday night to tip them off?
I love tequila.
No, no…I love it.
I love it like this,
And ooo definitely like this.
There’s many reasons I love it — and before you start cringing and making that stupid, sour face at even the whisper of the word — let me say this: what you think is tequila is not tequila.
I know, I’m sorry. You’re whole life…it’s been a lie. You see, to be called tequila, it has to come from certain areas in Mexico — the state of Jalisco + limited regions in the states of Guanajuato, Michoacán, Nayarit, and Tamaulipas — and be made from at least 51% agave.
Cuervo Gold or that other shit you took shots of in dark, college basements is a mixto — sure, it’s 51% agave, but the other 49% is soul crushing death — sugar, caramel, bottled headache. Of course you hate tequila, but blame the fraternities, not me!
[the things I post for y'all...I swear]
You see the tequila I adore is a life-giver, some [just me?] even call it a ‘life affirmer’. Unlike other booze, it’s a natural upper; you don’t feel drunk, but high. Seriously.
Another reason? The next morning, while perhaps tired, you’ll be headache and nausea free! So while your friends have bagels delivered [Sam & Jenna] because walking four blocks is physically impossible, you might go running. You might hit the grocery store. Laundry? You might.
Tequila, gentleman that he is, let’s you do your thing.
And then there’s the taste! Agave is strangely awesome — tasting of sun and earth and fruit and the calculus of their combination of spice and sweet.
Oop! Another lesson. Tequila generally comes in three forms: Blanco (also called silver), Reposado, and Anejo. Blanco is not aged, but bottled right after distillation. Reposado is aged somewhere between 8 weeks and a year in an oak cask — often one that formerly housed bourbon [can I get an amen for postcolonial cross-pollination?] — and Anejo ages at least a year but no more than three.
Note: these correspond to preference, not quality — it’s merely what you enjoy. Me? Blanco/Silver because…uhh, because I like it?
Alright, geez, fine, one last lesson before I list my tequila. The agave takes ~8 years to fruit, during which, the plant takes up its earth. Meaning, tequila enjoys a range from highland to lowland — highland agave tends to be lighter, with more vanilla and citrus; lowlands are earthier and weightier. Choose accordingly.
*And a word about Patron: it’s fine — if you don’t want any flavor. Really, it’s for people who like saying they drank tequila but don’t actually enjoy it.
Here, then, is my list:
7 (Siete) Leguas Blanco
It’s probably softer than you think it should be. You’ll taste the agave but, unlike some, this one melts into a vanilla that goes oh-so-nice with the desert sun [or so I imagine].
Herencia Mexicana Blanco
This is arguably one of the more strange and distinctive things I’ve ever consumed. It’s super soft on the tongue — if I said ‘pillowy’ right now, would you get it? Or would you think I was crazy? Whatever, I’m saying it, it’s pillowy. Yes, it’s spicy, too, and a little fruity, but mainly pillowy.
Perfect for when you’re at a girly bar where everyone else is ordering glasses of prosecco and cosmos…because that bar, that bar has this tequila and it is mighty fine. It’s smooth, a little peppery compared to the other two listed, but has a fruity after taste. I order it with seltzer and a lime and smile from ear to ear.