Toasted Oat & Coconut Muesli

There are a few things every blogger should consider when posting a recipe.

First, natural, morning light does wonders for food photos. Wonders, I tell you.

Second, if morning slips by [as it so often does] and the oven has yet to be preheated and all ingredients remain scattered about your shelves, general daylight presents itself as an excellent back up plan.

I missed out on both here so I’d appreciate if we could all muster up the slightest bit of imagination to brighten up these photos.

Image 3And now, let’s talk about muesli.

Muesli fights a daunting battle. It’s not easy being granola’s considerably less attractive sibling. Everyone loves granola. Granola is the sexy/crunchy/toasty version of oats and nuts. And if you add chocolate, it becomes a perfectly reasonable excuse to eat candy for breakfast.

Muesli…well, muesli makes you work for it. It’s not sugared. It doesn’t prance about your kitchen, all dolled up. No, no muesli makes you accept it’s simplicity and then be grateful for it.

Wait, did a breakfast dish…did it just teach me a life lesson?

Awesome. I love food.

Image 5Muesli is a traditional Swiss breakfast — it’s often made with uncooked oats and dried fruit and is served with milk, cream, or sometimes even orange juice.

In this version the oats and the coconut get toasted. Toasted coconut is just about the warmest, coziest thing I can think of; it’s golden and fragrant and takes some of the sting out of rolling out of bed. And toasting oats brings out their naturally nutty flavor.

It’s just like…another layer or two of flavor…y’know nbd, whatevs.

Image 6I like to add a little sweetness and spice to everything — I live by the “opposites attract” premise it would seem. Dried cherries add a great, sweet bite with a surprisingly tart aftertaste. Cinnamon is a lovely, warm and comforting spice. Roasted walnuts add the perfect crunch. And chia seeds serve two purposes: 1.) health 2.) they love to thicken as they’re exposed to liquid [which, conveniently, they are here].

A drizzle of honey at the end offers the perfect finish.

photo-97As demonstrated, all the dry ingredients are tossed in a bowl and…well…that’s it.

Sometimes, things in life are easy. Sometimes, when they are, you find yourself with furrowed brow, standing in front of the bowl wondering why this came together so seamlessly.

Just accept it. Love it.

The hardest part of this muesli comes in with the ‘serving’ bit.

ImageMuesli must soak. It must. At least 2 hours, but overnight if possible.

So portion it out — you’ll need as much muesli as you’ll eat, some frozen blueberries, and whichever milk you fancy most, enough to cover the whole situation.

Easy! Again!

Image 2Frozen blueberries are so juicy when they thaw. Of course you can use whichever fruit you want, but I recommend the bluebs.

Soggy oats may sound [and, in this case, also appear] unappealing. I used to keep them categorized in the same section of my brain I reserve for stale bread and mealy apples — a small spot, rather far in the back, that I generally choose to ignore.

But that was silly. The oats drink up the milk. The dried fruit plumps. The frozen fruit is so refreshing and the nuts maintain the perfect level of crunch.

Give it a try! You’ll need:

4 cups old-fashioned oats

1 cup unsweetened coconut [shredded or flakes]

1 cup coarsely chopped dry roasted walnuts

1 cup dried cherries

1/4 cup chia seeds

1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon

1/4 teaspoon salt

honey

To Serve:

frozen blueberries

cold milk [I used almond]

- Toast oats and coconut [separate pans!] for 5-7 minutes in a 350 degree oven. Coconut browns quickly so keep an eye on it! Allow everything to cool and then mix with the other dry ingredients.

- Either make all your separate, milky portions now or store the dry ingredients in a big container and scoop some out the night before you want some.

Enjoy!

Pretentiously Pretentious Pretentiousness

Do you ever listen to yourself…like, actually listen…and realize just how much shit you’re spewing? [really looking for a "yes me too!! all the time!! omgstrings we're the same!!" here...]

It’s happened twice in the past few days to me. Luckily, I was in a safe space [my living room] with people willing to look past my ridiculous fodder [my roommates].

Exhibit A: Taylor: “[*quite casually] I still can’t believe Life of Pi won for Best Director.”

Me: “[*over-the-top sounds of exasperation coupled with profound eyebrow-raising] Ummm I can! The Academy loves Ang Lee”

Roommates: [*slack jaws, huffing, puffing...general disbelief]

The Academy? The ACADEMY?! Really Madison?

Exhibit B: Amy: “I need to get some kale, I really want to make kale chips.”

Me: “But do you dehydrate them or bake them? I’ve found dehydrating them to be life-changing [*zero sarcasm, every word was fully meant].”

And it got me thinking…What other faux-pretensions do I have? And, perhaps more importantly, how often do they emerge?

Answer: Health Foods. Oh, and each and every time you visit a grocery store.

The following list of superfoods have to be The 5 Most Pretentious ‘Must-Eat’ Foods. They may not mean you summer in Martha’s Vineyard or routinely share pear tarts with the Barefoot Contessa [...a girl can dream], but I’ll say this much, having them on your grocery list and stocking your cupboards sure makes you feel like you’re a whole lot closer to doing so.

1. Quinoa

I may have pronounced it wrong for a year (“kwin-oh-uh” is, as it turns out, quite wrong), but I adopted this whole grain enthusiastically, nonetheless. It hails from South American farms and was cultivated 3-4,000 years ago — but you don’t need to know that to know this stuff is no joke. Chock-full of fiber, protein, and iron you can never (NEVER) go wrong with this WASPy side dish.

Used, easily, in a sentence: “Do you think I should make some black bean and quinoa lettuce wraps for after our sailing trip?”

2. Almond Butter

Forget peanut butter.

No seriously, forget it. It is now the unloved, under-appreciated and long-forgotten middle child [mom, dad do you hear me?! DO YOU?!]. Almond butter, you see, with its lower saturated fat content and supplemental protein and fiber, well it might as well be the second-coming in spreadable form.

Used in a sentence: “My rent might be super late but if I get evicted at least I’ll have these 400-odd, industrial-sized jars of almond butter to cart around with me and display my societal worth.”

3. Kale

Can we talk about kale? It’s tough. It’s bitter. It comes in irrationally large bunches in the Whole Foods produce section…but when you consider its nutrient-density (holy fiber, anti-cancer properties and vitamins!), you totally get why every housewife is peeing their pants in excitement and shoving it in every smoothie, tossing it in every salad, and, of course, baking the holy grail of kale dishes — kale chips, routinely.

Because I mean, it’s a chip.

But it’s kale.

Used in a sentence: “Should I blanch this kale before freezing it? I bought 5 pounds today at the market so that we can make fresh kale and ginger juices every morning for the rest of our lives!”

4. Greek Yogurt

Unless you live in a cave, under a rock, or somewhere completely and utterly out of touch with society, you already know greek yogurt is the most sacred and treasured of all yogurt. I’m even starting to hear rumors that capital punishment will now be doled out for anyone who dares purchase that Dannon Fruit-on-the-Bottom garbage.

Just kidding, that’s for anyone with the audacity to wield a go-gurt in public.

Used in a sentence: “But, honey, why don’t we just buy our own organic goat farm upstate so that we can have an unlimited store of fresh greek yogurt on hand?”

5. Blueberries

This shouldn’t need an explanation, yet I feel an overwhelming urge to clarify that these antioxidant superheroes are not meant to be stuck in some obscene cobbler, pie, or muffin. No, no. Instead, put them in your greek yogurt and check out your well-rounded breakfast or enjoy a handful for a morning snack!

Keep in mind, these will in no way, shape, or form keep you full…but fake it ’til you make it, kids! Claim, wholeheartedly, that you are stuffed from this pseudo-snack and you will not disappoint. In fact, play your cards right and you’ll see, people will want to be you.

Used in a sentence: “I wish I hadn’t eaten all three of those bleubs, I hate going to Soul Cycle on a full stomach!”

Happy smart and healthy eating fellow snobby, slightly-pretentious, but secretly poor foodies! It’s only 11 a.m. and I’ve consumed 3 out of these 5 things, so hop to!

Linguine with White Wine and Mussels

Just didn’t have a creative title in me today [wtf you don't think any of my titles are creative? not even one? c'mon! ONE!?]

You see it has been a week. Maybe even two weeks. It’s all blurring a bit now. So as I sit/lay/lounge on my couch, warding off sleep with blocks of chocolate and spoonfuls of almond butter…all I can think about is this pasta.

Image 10I don’t even like pasta [please...love me anyways] and a bit of dribble escapes the corner of my mouth when I consider the white wine mingling with the mussels and cozying right up to that overly indulgent amount of garlic.

It’s been made more than a few times by more than a few family members with more than a few seafood combinations.

Mom doesn’t really do mussels [I won't hold it against her. I won't hold it against her. I WON'T hold it against her], so shrimp and scallops has become her move.

I don’t really do $22.00/lb price tags, so the scallops stay at the market and the mussels come on along home.

Ally lives in Boston and has become a bit of a shellfish herself and marries off some lovely clams with her dashing mussels.

Basically…shellfish. Whichever you like. However many you like.

Go on, already…get them! What? I’m not getting off this couch.

*Ahem…sorry. I didn’t mean to yell. Can we get back to happier times? Please?

Times where we chopped 3 shallots and 5 cloves of garlic.

Image 2Times where we mixed them with some olive oil and sautéed them on medium-low until our tears from chopping dried.

Remember how we added a cup of white wine…and drank the rest of the bottle as we watched it reduce by half?

Image 5That was fun.

We did the same thing with a cup of vegetable broth, yep, sure did.

Wait! Ew…don’t…well, don’t drink the leftover broth! Just the wine!

Oh shit…red pepper flakes…they definitely got tossed in at some point…

Now seems like a good time. Be generous.

Ah yes, we also cooked some linguine alongside, all the while [you didn't forget...did you?].

Image 3

We rinsed our mussels, snapped a few more blurry iPhone photos, and added the whole pound to the pan sauce. We plopped on the lid, sat down, and let them steam for 5 minutes.

Image 1And then, just when we thought we couldn’t wait any longer, those little devils gave us just what we had been asking for…

Kisses of steam and wafts of garlic.

Image 7We basked in it. Oh yes, we did. We even went so far as to do that terribly awkward thing…y’know…where you wave the steam into your face, close your eyes, and purr in delight.

And then…then we glanced over our shoulders, made sure everyone was thoroughly occupied with their own bottles glasses of wine, and chucked in a half stick of butter.

Image 8

Perhaps guiltily [but most likely not] we returned the lid to the pot and let it melt for a moment.

Then we whisked it all together, dumped it in a big bowl, threw in a few crostini [tell me you didn't forget to make the bread while I was typing this...], and used the same photo at the end of our post as we did at the start.

Image 10Don’t even start with me on that one.

Life Lately

…is very random.

At least, according to my iPhone.

photo-57

We moved…again. Me, from down the street. This little one, from the woodlands in Minnesota.

We also [as you can see] decided to paint one wall very, very pink. The genius you can come up with after a few too many glasses bottles of wine never ceases to amuse. 
photo-60The same sentiment might be extended to the wall art you discover and order…[like it? me too! go on, then, get one here].

My parents, as well as Taylor’s mother and cousin, joined us for the moving process and along with schlepping to the hardware store where rousing purchases of double-sticky tape and closet lamps were made, we did some rather fun things.

Namely, eat.

Whenever someone comes to town, or whenever someone I know has someone in town, I tell them to go here–to The Standard Grill.

It’s just perfectly cozy, what with its red leather booths and big bay windows, and the food…well, it deserves each and every sigh of delight echoing through the dining room.

photo-65

There’s a whole roast chicken on the menu, hiding beneath that napkin, and let me say this: order it.

Either go alone so no one must witness you groan through its entirety single-handed, or [choose this option] find a fancy friend who’ll split it [thanks mom!].

photo-64It’s times like these I’m grateful to have so many coworkers around–licking my computer seemed like a viable option when that photo uploaded [I mean...just for a second, or so] but the threat of their petrified stares proved too much to bear.

We also cozied up in a cabana at another Meatpacking haunt, The Spice Market.

Why no photos, you ask?

Because The Spice Market, undoubtedly, is working towards lowering their electric bill and keeps their dining hall in near perfect darkness.

photo-63We remain indebted to the iPhone flashlight.

Also, to the chef–everything was delicious.

Also, to the makers of this fine product, that now lives in our kitchen [how do you feel about that transition? good? good].

photo-68Taylor’s boyfriend wormed his way into a permanent spot in my heart when he found this gem on Amazon [do the same for someone else, here].

Other fun chocolate products greasing my kitchen counters [what a terrible visual...]?

photo-59Dark Chocolate-Coconut-Almond Butter.

A few minutes of whirring in the Vitamix later, it was ready and so was I–spoon in hand.

photo-58I made more than this…significantly more, but aside from my chocolatey fingers, no one will ever know how much disappeared straight from the blender.

Aside from that, it’s been all about work.

photo-62The Golden Globes were watched, late into the night, from my desk and days later–I’ve still no signs of leaving.

What’s everyone else up to? Something infinitely more fun, I hope!

Cajun Shrimp Cocktail

Know what’s fun?

Eating.

You don’t think so? Perchance you’ve stumbled across the wrong girl’s blog…not to worry, we can part ways here–before my face is covered in cocktail sauce and yours in disgust–with no hard feelings.

Oh, you do [you do!?] love eating?

Well, slide on over and get cozy, then. We’ve got a Cajun Shrimp Cocktail to share.

photo-50First, the requisite ingredients shot.

For the seasoning mix: Cayenne Pepper, Thyme, Ground Black Pepper, Onion Powder, Oregano, Paprika, Garlic Powder.

Get out a pretty white dish and start measuring…

- 1.5 tbsp paprika & oregano

- 1 tbsp salt & garlic powder

- 1/2 tbsp black pepper, onion powder, cayenne, thyme

photo-51

It drives me insane that there’s that little white space, top right. Spread your paprika out a bit more to avoid this terrible fate…or be thankful that you aren’t neurotic and type A…or [choose this option], avoid the bizarre self-talk, skip this phase completely, and proceed right to the part where they’re all mixed, happily, together.

This makes a good bit of seasoning; you won’t use all of it here [I don't care how spicy you think you like your shrimp], so throw the extra in a Ziploc and tuck it away–you’ll heave a sigh of relief next week, when–hot rollers in hair and a tear in your stockings–you’re rifling through the cabinets, desperate for an appetizer you forgot you promised to bring along to that party…

Anyway, grab your shrimp. Like…I don’t know…a pound? Are you hungry? Let’s do a pound, it’ll be fine.

Shells on, shells off, makes no matter–so long as someone has kindly deveined the little fellows, I’m happy.

photo-52Shells on: be generous with the seasoning.

Shells off: sprinkle wisely.

Once that’s done, wash your hands and grab a beer.

photo-54

Actually two, might as well drink one along the way.

Also, three cloves of garlic.

And your can of Old Bay Seasoning.

photo-46

Pour the beer, roughly chop in [does that work?] the garlic, and give it a few healthy shakes of Old Bay.

photo-56Grab the steamer basket, bring the beer to a simmer, and toss in the shrimp.

Cover [with a lid, duh] and cook until pink, 5-6ish minutes.

photo-55Now, a few hours ago, in the afternoon, when we had some down-time…we made cocktail sauce.

You don’t remember?

Rude.

Let me remind you of the steps:

Line up your soldiers: Worcestershire Sauce, Sriracha, Ketchup, Ground Black Pepper, Horseradish, Salt, Lemon.

photo-49You want:

- 1 cup ketchup

- 2 tbsp horseradish

- juice of 1/2 lemon [~1 tbsp]

- 1 tbsp worcestershire

- salt and pepper, to taste

- however much sriracha makes you happy…or…1/2 tsp.

photo-47Growing up, as my dad generously slathered his sandwiches with horseradish, he’d answer my incessant [eh...childish] probes about the enigmatic condiment by saying it tastes “like a punch in the nose.”

The same could be said for this sauce–eyes watering, sinuses clearing…the whole bit. If that doesn’t sound like your thing, lower the sriracha and horseradish content and enjoy a milder version.

photo-48

Store in the fridge, until the shrimp are ready.

And then they are, and it’s time to go.

I didn’t take a final shot…don’t hate me…I was hungry, and shit [like this] happens when you’re hungry.

Oh well, enjoy!

A Perfect Roast Beast

Maybe you’re going out tomorrow.

Maybe you aren’t.

Maybe you’re staying in, with all your favorite peoples, huddling around your favorite feast.

If so, make this.

If not, make this…some other time.

Image 43Standing Rib Roast [prime rib].

That wasn’t really a sentence, but what other words matter when you’ve got pounds and pounds of red meat caked in cracked black pepper and kosher salt?

Nothing, really.

Image 28First, procure a standing rib. For six of us [plus one dog] we ordered 5 bones and all had to be rolled out of the dining room, groaning in delight.

Now do your friend a favor, and lay him gently on his back.

Image 24Empty your spice rack of any and all kosher salt and cracked black pepper.

Empty?

No?

Keep going, then.

Image 25

Image 27I don’t want to say my mouth is watering…because it’s a slab of raw meat oozing an odd combination of meat juice and seasoning all over the counter…but…well…it is and I need you to say I’m not alone! [say it!].

Image 33Cart the fella out to the grilling station [it's your station, you say? aren't you a talented little thing].

It’s a bit of a sordid affair, what with meat juice and stray bits of salt and better dripping everywhere, but you haven’t showered and you’ve got friends on the way, so get to it.

Image 34He’ll need 15-20 minutes per pound if your heat is around 325-350, or until it reaches an internal temperature of 125 degrees [what a perfect occasion to buy a meat thermometer].

And then, when it couldn’t smell any better and you couldn’t be any hungrier…bring it in…

Image 39…pop a piece or two of the crust into your mouth before anyone notices, and throw a few sheets of foil over it, letting it rest for 20-30 minutes or so for a medium rare center.

In the meantime, uncork your favorite bottles of wine, set the table, and nearly die from anticipation.

Image 40and then it’s time! Scurry over to the table, plate in hand, tuck in your bib [or don't], and enjoy.

Image 46How impressed are your guests?

A lot.

Like, a lot, lot.

A Feeding Frenzy [or..."Brunch"]

Chances are you’ve still got a rogue aunt, uncle, or cousin roaming about your halls. Peeking in your cabinets, using up all the toilet paper [along with the hot shower-water], and, undoubtedly, eating all your food.

They’ve no shame, none at all, when it comes to the recesses of your fridge or pantry. No morsel is safe and despite that beautiful, four-course feast you served them last night, they [and you, be honest] still wake up hungry.

So we at the Vain house have gone and found the perfect solution: Brunch Benedict.

Image 14It’s easy to prep in advance of any in-law’s arrival, and the number and toppings are as adjustable as need be.

Poach the eggs a day or two ahead of time–we gave each a four-minute swirl in the simmering water [a dash of vinegar in there works wonders] with plans for them to finish cooking in the oven before brunch.

Plop them all on a platter and tuck them away, in the back of your fridge–far from any grubby little fingers.

Image 13Then, on Christmas morning, as everyone is fa-la-la-ing over their new sweaters and swapping gifts behind Santa’s mom’s back…you’ll turn the oven to 350 degrees, get out your best bakeware, toast some english muffins [give 'em a swipe of butter], and start laying on toppings.

Image 48We plumped for a few variations: Traditional [canadian bacon, egg, hollandaise], Traditional + Spinach [you're smart enough to figure that out, right?], and Eggs Nova Scotia [lox, spinach, goat cheese, egg]. Image 49Image 12Now whisk up some hollandaise [stop glancing, guiltily, over your shoulder...no one saw you use the packet].

Ladle it on.

Image 11Image 9And pop them in the oven, uncovered, for twenty minutes.

Inevitably, everyone will wander into the kitchen, with their Christmas soaked smiles, before the timer dings. But you anticipated that [look at you!] and put out a container or two of berries, some fresh yogurt, and store-bought [again...my lips are sealed] granola, so go on and relax with your latte a bit longer.

Image 8They’ll be fine.

And then the eggs are done, and, conveniently, so are you!

Image 10Eat up! And then scurry off to the showers, there’s a long line and Church is in an hour.

Chili Crab

Image 96 years ago, for my younger sister’s 15th birthday, my dad drug her along to Singapore for a little getaway [because, really, the youngest deserves abnormal grandeur].

They came back with many stories–sunrise over the fish market, afternoons at the temples, moments of silence at high tea–but their favorite, the one they always return to, is all about chili crab.

Sweating [I reiterate: sweating] in dingy, open-air markets under the oppressive Singapore heat, elbows deep in the spiciest, most delicious chili-soaked crab they’d ever found.

You have to make it…they begged my mother.

Please…do better…they admonished after each try.

More ginger. More spice. More this, more I don’t know, maybe some of that?

It was a trying experience. And while we prefer to enjoy ours indoors, feet resting on the cool, kitchen tiles with cold beers in hand…the recipe is there, ready to share.

Image 13Care to join?

You’ll need:

-2 tablespoons oil

-2 tablespoons soy sauce

-5 tablespoons garlic-flavored chili sauce [*find a good one! we use Lee Kum Kee]

-1 cup ketchup

-2 eggs beaten [warmed to room temperature]

-3/4 tablespoons tapioca flour

-4 stalks green onion

-1 cup water

-all the fresh garlic hiding in your fridge [or...~5 cloves]

-1 inch fresh ginger, chopped

-liberal amounts of siracha [1/4-1/3 cup]

-CRAB –> tradition calls for dungeness crab…which, in turn, calls for heavily furrowed brows, violent cursing under one’s breath, and a hefty amount of work for relatively little meat…so we’ve moved on to snow crabten pounds of it for 6 people and not one morsel lived through the night.

Image 14The sauce…well, the sauce is key. Fail here and you might as well sell off your wok, hurl your fresh [perhaps previously frozen] crab legs at your neighbors’ front door, and order a pizza.

But we aren’t there yet, so in that large wok [or heavy-bottomed pan] add oil and fry the ginger until fragrant. Add garlic, cooking until crisp. Then, the soy sauce joins the mix.

Now wait a second, I know we’ve been tossing around ingredients like mad scientists, but these all need a minute to get properly introduced.

Alright, that’s long enough, spoon in the garlic-chili paste, ketchup, siracha, and half the water.

Let the crab join in and cook, covered, until pink.

Uncover.

Remove the crab–keep it warm somewhere [you lucky little minx, there's an oven nearabouts your stove, isn't there?].

Add the rest of the water, flour, and eggs–TEMPER the eggs first [which means...whisk them and dash in some of the hot sauce to raise their temperature before adding them to the sauce...otherwise there'll be awkward deposits of scrambled egg strewn about, and well, gross].

Stir until sauce thickens. Pour over crab [that has, undoubtedly, been arranged on your favorite silver platter] and serve with a bread basket, bibs, and more than a few rolls of paper towels.

Image 10This is a two-hands, shockingly messy meal. Nothing is safe. Your hands, most assuredly, are not. But don’t go taking your clean hair or even the opposite wall of the kitchen for granted.

Image 11Image 17The result? Even the little Singaporean herself was happy.

Image 12Messy, but happy.

Sometimes S’mores

Sometimes…life wins. It sneaks up, undoubtedly from some dark corner, and leaves you more than a little worse for wear.

Unfortunately, that’s where I’m at, patching up [more than] a few internal wounds.

Which is why sisters come to town.

To remind you to put on lipstick, smile, and replace all fruits and veggies with wine, cheese, and chocolate [for a weekend].

That taking a deep breath and a wide gaze stops time from slipping through your fingers.

And that a proper cappuccino warms more than just your hands.

They’ll lay on the pillow next to you, wrap the covers tight about your shoulders, and whisper all the stories you’ve so missed hearing.

And at midnight…after copious amounts wine…they’ll trudge to the grocery store with you for butter so you can make Peanut butter S’mores Bars.

It’s all very simple, really. I followed this recipe I saw last week on How Sweet It Is.

We licked the bowl clean, put the pan in the fridge, and had them for breakfast the next morning.

Personal problems or not, I highly recommend you do the same.

Olive Couscous Salad

A simple title for a simple dish.

Catching the tail end of last week’s couscous‘ popularity, I offer you this rendition. It proves a few things: that couscous is the blankest of blank canvases, that the simple flavors of pure foods is unbeatable, and that lunch at work need never be boring again.

You need:

- 2/3 cup dry couscous, prepared howsoever you prefer…

- 4 cloves garlic

- 1-2 tbsp olive oil

- 2-3 tsp apple cider vinegar

- salt and pep

- 1/3 large, red onion

- 1/2 cup flat leaf parsley

- 1 1/3 cups greek olive mix (or whichevers you’ve got a special place in your heart for)

Mashed garlic forms the base of the dressing. I used the garlic I had thrown in the pot with the couscous, so it was warm and fragrant and practically begging to be turned into garlic-paste.

How could I refuse?

Once mashed, mix with the other dressing ingredients: lemon juice, salt, pepper, apple cider vinegar, olive oil. In a moment of serendipitous genius, I added a tablespoon or so of the liquid in the container that had ever-so-kindly been housing my olives for the past week…I highly recommend you do the same.

After that…

Dice the onion and parsley. And then grab your starlet and let her do her thing. Her sweet, salty, and somewhat briny thing. I’ve a penchant for olives and so choosing between them, well it simply couldn’t be done.

I’ve saved you the trouble of choosing as well and both you and your taste buds will thank me. The variety adds the subtlest complexity to an otherwise very straightforward dish.

Lunch is served, my dears. Eat up!

(Makes 3 lunch-sized portions)